Are you in line with current investment procedure?
'WHEN I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."That quote, from Alice Through the Looking Glass, has to be one of my favourites.
'WHEN I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
That quote, from Alice Through the Looking Glass, has to be one of my favourites. I think of it just about every time I read press releases from local authorities, the NHS, large corporations - any number of powerful organisations.
And it sprung to mind when I came across this sentence in a press statement from Anglian Water, answering my queries about North Walsham's flooding problems:
'If any further works are identified we will put them forward for remedial action in line with our current investment procedure.'
You may also want to watch:
Now what, exactly, does that mean? Does it say they will spend money putting things right if they find anything wrong? Nope - merely that they will 'put them forward' for action.
And what on earth does 'in line with our current investment procedure,' mean?
- 1 How a now quiet North Norfolk village was once a bustling European port
- 2 Welcome to our new website
- 3 ‘A little bit of joy’ - Coastal town gets a Christmas tree with a difference
- 4 MP pleads for Norfolk to be in lowest Covid tier
- 5 Nurse died at home, inquest hears
- 6 Supermarket ‘champion’ clocks up thousands for charity - in spite of battling coronavirus
- 7 Encouraging signs as Covid infection rates plummet in parts of Norfolk
- 8 'This is a call to arms': Care home launches defibrillator campaign
- 9 'Magna Carta is no defence' - Man caught fishing illegally on Broads
- 10 Norfolk coronavirus infection rates fall further
Is AW saying it is investing, or plans to invest, in North Walsham? Nope - it's a slippery, vague little phrase which I just can't pin down. Would any of you care to decipher it for me?
�On the subject of words and their modern usage, let me tell you about an email I got from a north Norfolk care home before Christmas.
They asked if I'd come and take a picture of their 'service users' who had packed shoeboxes with gifts for needy children. I imagine they were referring to their elderly residents.
And a while back I passed the Big Lottery machine in Sainsbury's which had a message on it from Camelot, apologising that it wasn't working due to a 'network communications issue'.
To borrow a Little Britain catchphrase, I think that's a verbose way of saying: 'Computer says 'no''.